Saturday, June 9, 2012

Natural Blonde

a Lulu & Friends story

500 words inspired by the Weekend Wordsmith prompt “that’s typical


Benni sat cross-legged on the floor of the short hallway between the bedroom and the bathroom, wrapped in a towel, examining her reflection in the full length mirror propped against the wall in front of her.  She had a date with a new fella tonight and wanted to look perfect.  She double checked her makeup and hair, her head and shoulders framed by the halo of hairspray glistening on the wall behind her.

Lulu sat on the sofabed in the living room, turning pages in a magazine and half watching television, waiting for her turn in the bathroom.  She was going out tonight, too.  She and Lily were going to dinner at First Wok and then maybe a movie.

“What do you think?” said Benni, posing in the doorway to her bedroom in a white cotton dress with black polka dots.  “It’s new.  Isn’t it cute?”

“I can see your underwear,” said Lulu.

“No you can’t,” said Benni.

“I can see the pattern of the lace and the pearl in the middle of the little satin bow in the front,” said Lulu.

“But they’re white,” said Benni.

“And I can see them perfectly through the dress,” said Lulu.  “Go put on another pair.”

“How ‘bout these?” said Benni.

“Nope,” said Lulu.  “Purple flowers on a light blue background.  Don’t you have anything neutral?  Something beige?”

“I’m not gonna wear granny pants on a date,” said Benni.

“Who would know?” said Lulu.

Benni sighed heavily and rolled her eyes.

“Ok,” said Lulu.  “What about pantyhose.  Do you have any with a control top and a built-in panty?”

“Just black,” said Benni.  “Would that go?  The polka dots are black.”

“You can’t wear black hose with a white dress and white shoes,” said Lulu.

“Why not?” said Benni.  “Black and white always go together.”

“Don’t you have nude or ivory?” said Lulu.

“Maybe I’ll just skip it,” said Benni, tossing the panties into her room.

“You can’t go out in just a dress and shoes unless the building’s on fire,” said Lulu.  “I can tell you’re not wearing a bra.”

"You have too many rules,” said Benni.  “Who died and made you Miss Manners?”

“It’s gross,” said Lulu, “but at least you’re a natural blonde.”

“This is so typical,” said Benni.  “You’re jealous because I met someone and you’re just going out with Lily and will be home alone in time for Saturday Night Live as usual.”

“And this is so typical of you,” said Lulu, “starting up with a new guy before the last one’s barely out the door.

“What do you care?” said Benni.  “Anyway, I think I look cute and with any luck you won’t see me ‘til after brunch tomorrow.”

“Luck has nothing to do with it,” said Lulu.

“Bitch,” said Benni, picking up her purse and flouncing out of the apartment, letting the door slam behind her.

“Typical,” said Lulu, heading for the shower and an hour’s peace before leaving to meet Lily over on First Avenue.


Copyright © 2012 Lulubelle B

Sunday, May 27, 2012

I Ain't No Challah Back Girl

A Lulu & Friends Story

with apologies to Gwen Stefani


Lulu watched the door from a table in the restaurant’s bar, her club soda and lime untouched.  He was ten minutes late.

She’d let Lola talk her into a blind date.  Lo was determined to find Lulu a beau.  She and Travis were still all lovey-dovey after years and years together and she wanted the same for Lulu.  Actually, Lulu was beginning to think Travis was what her father would’ve called “a fig newton” of Lola’s imagination.  Lulu’d been in Dallas six months and had yet to meet Travis. There was always an excuse. Travis had to work.  Travis was visiting his family.  Travis was out with the boys.  Lulu referred to him as The Phantom.

“Do you know him?” said Lu, when Lola asked her to go out with her client’s cousin.

“I know of him,” said Lo.  “He’s Jewish.  He was born in Queens.”

“That’s it?” said Lu.  “Would you go out with some guy if all I could tell you was that he’s a Christian and he was born in Louisiana?”

“Of course not,” said Lo, “I’ve got my Travis.  Pleeeease Lulu.  Just one drink.  He’s Jewish.  Please…”

Lulu had waited long enough.  She stood, took her car keys and sunglasses from her purse and turned to leave a five on the table for the waitress.  She felt a presence at her shoulder.

“Are you Lulu?  Hi, I’m Mike”

His majesty had arrived.  Lulu turned to meet her prince.  She saw a balding, 40-ish guy in jeans, sneakers and a softball jersey.  Bald wasn’t a problem.  Captain Picard made her all tingly.  She tuned in every week to watch Jean-Luc “make it so”.

“Sorry I’m late.  Traffic on Beltline was a mess,” said Mike.  “I’ve only got about twenty minutes.  Got a game tonight.”  He pointed to his jersey.

He looked her up and down.  “You really look Jewish.  My mother would love you, not like the shiksas I usually date.”

Lulu sat, toying with her keys and sunglasses.

“So what’s your deal?” said Lulu.  “They told me you were born in Queens.  I lived there for a while.”

“I’m an accountant,” said Mike, “but I they let me go last year.  Bookkeeping irregularities.”

“What do you do now?” said Lulu.

“I just hang out and go to my court dates,” said Mike.

“Court dates?” said Lulu.

“It’s nothing,” said Mike.  “Did they tell you about my roommate?”

“Roommate?” said Lulu

“She’s my ex,” said Mike.  “We broke up.  She still lives with me but it won’t be a problem.  That’s why I play softball, to stay out of the house.  I joined enough teams so I have practice every weeknight.  I have games all weekend.”

“Uh-huh,” said Lulu.

“We could get together lunchtime,” said Mike.  “I could call you and you could come over and then go back to work.”

“I don’t think so,” said Lulu.

She stood and walked toward the door.  Mike followed her.

“I’m not interested,” said Lulu.  “Really. Don’t ever call me.”


Copyright © 2012, Lulubelle B

Saturday, May 19, 2012


a Lulu & Friends story
May is Melanoma Awareness Month

500 words inspired by the Weekend Wordsmith prompt “fear


Lulu sat fully clothed in her dermatologist’s exam room, staring at the doctor.   She must have misunderstood him.

“Melanoma?” she said.  “I have skin cancer?”

Lulu found the mole on her scalp a couple of weeks earlier after accidentally banging her head with a hairbrush.  Her scalp bled.  Pressing the area with a tissue, she felt a small lump.  A few days later it was still seeping, so she called the office for appointment to have it looked at.  The doctor hadn’t seemed alarmed but said he wanted to send a sample to the lab.

Lulu waited a week for the nurse to call with the results.  Then she waited another day.  And another.  On the tenth day after the biopsy she called the office.  The nurse told Lulu to come in to talk to the doctor.

And now the doctor just said she had melanoma, the same skin cancer that killed her grandmother and her father.

No, no, not me, Lulu thought.  They were sun worshippers.  Not me.  I haven’t been in the sun in years.  Grandma played cards at the beach, sitting for hours basted with baby oil.  Dad spent most summer weekends lying on a lounge chair on the patio, spraying himself with the garden hose when he got too hot.  Not me.  I hate hot weather.  I stay inside in the air conditioning.

OK, she thought, when I lived in Texas I had to walk Lucky, but not in the middle of the day.  Neither of us liked the heat.  He did his stuff, then dragged me back inside.  We took our long walks in the evening when it was cooler and the sun wasn’t beating down.

The doctor was still talking, something about a twenty year lag between exposure and disease.

How do I tell Mom, thought Lulu.  How do I tell my brother?  It’s Mother’s Day weekend.  I can’t ruin Mother’s Day weekend.  I’ll fake it this weekend and tell them next week.

The doctor’s saying something about a referral to a surgeon.

Dad had melanoma on his leg removed and we thought he was fine.  Then he started having pain in his hips so bad he couldn’t work.  When they finally figured out it was cancer,  it was too late to operate.  Sometimes when you’ve got melanoma on your lower body it spreads to your pelvis.  But mine’s on my head.  Why do I need a surgeon if it’s just a mole on my scalp?  Is it going to spread to my brain?

Did he just say I also need a plastic surgeon, thought Lulu.  Grandma had part of her jaw removed.  Is mine going to spread to my face?

“You knew,” said Lulu.  “You knew what it was as soon as you saw it, didn’t you?”

The doctor nodded and looked away, blinking.

“We can’t handle it here,” he said, turning back and meeting her eyes.  “I’m so sorry.  You need a surgical oncologist.  It’s treatable, but sooner is better than later.”

Copyright © 2012, Lulubelle B

Sunday, May 13, 2012

The Pantry

a Lulu & Friends story

500 words inspired by the Weekend Wordsmith prompt “hunger

Lulu drove around to the side door of the community food pantry, grinned at her best friend Lola sitting in the passenger seat and tapped the horn.  From Lola’s window they had a view through the doorway and could see folks working inside.  Lu and Lo had spent the last hour at the nearby wholesale club, filling an oversized shopping cart, or “buggy”, as Lo insisted on calling it, with groceries from the pantry’s “How You Can Help” list.  It was a relatively cool summer Saturday in Far North Dallas, the temperature just over 85 degrees at 10am, but even with the car’s erratic air conditioner set at maximum Lulu wanted to get the perishables into the pantry’s refrigerators as soon as possible.

Tricia, the pantry’s manager, appeared in the doorway, clipboard and pen in hand.  Lulu popped the car’s trunk and walked around to the passenger side.  Lola rolled down her window.

“Hey Miss Trish,” said Lola.  “Got anybody to help bring this stuff inside?”

“Hey Miss Lo, Miss Lu,” said Tricia.  She turned to holler into the building. “Delivery!”

“Perishables in the back seat, non-perishables in the trunk,” said Lola.

A herd of teenaged boys and girls quickly unloaded the car and disappeared inside.

“Youth group service day,” said Tricia.  “Y’all wanna do some work before you go?”

Lulu and Lola followed Tricia into the building, past the makeshift office and through the maze of shelving units and glass-fronted refrigerators.

“I thought you’d have way more stuff,” said Lola.

“Donations are down,” said Tricia, “ ‘cause of the economy and all.  Fall’s our busiest time for donations with Thanksgiving and Christmas food drives, but summer’s harder for our clients.  When school’s out, breakfast and lunch programs are shut down, too.  Families need extra help feeding their kids, especially the last two weeks of the month.”

“That’s why we’re here,” said Lulu.  “What do you need us to do?”

The youth group was busy sorting groceries on tables in the center of the work area.

“Today the grownups are breaking down industrial-size product from our corporate donors into family-friendly packages,” said Tricia.  “The ladies at that table in the corner are repacking dried milk.  Or there’s a bunch of seasonings in restaurant packs that need tending to.

“So the choice is pack white powder into kilo bundles or dried herbs into nickel bags?” said Lola.

Tricia laughed.  “Trust me,” she said, “this ain’t no French Connection.  Better music in the 70s.”

“Well, we might could stay for a bit…” said Lo.

“I dunno,” said Lu, turning to look at the clock on the wall over the doorway.  “We’re supposed to meet Travis and Steve for the noon show at the Cinemark, and I have to drop you at your place, then go home and shower and get ready.  Plus Lucky’s gonna need a walk if I’m gone all afternoon.”

“Maybe next time,” said Lo, shrugging her shoulders and turning to follow Lu to the car.  “Driver’s in charge. Sorry.”


Copyright © 2012, Lulubelle B

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Testimony: Ban The Tan

a Lulu & Friends story
May is Melanoma Awareness Month

500 words inspired by the efforts in several states to ban the use of tanning salons by persons under 18 years of age


Good afternoon Mr. Chairman and members of the Committee.

My name is Lulu and I’m here to ask you to support State Senate bill 12345 banning the use of tanning salons by minors.

I was diagnosed with melanoma, the most deadly skin cancer, five years ago when I was 47.  I used tanning salons for about a year in my late 20s.  I didn’t tan outdoors very much, particularly after age 30.

I call myself a “patient”, not a “survivor”.  Five years after diagnosis I’m still under the care of two oncologists and will be for the rest of my life.  If you’ve survived something, the threat has passed.  My threat of melanoma hasn’t passed.

I was surprised how many people I knew thought melanoma was no big deal.  They couldn’t believe I missed 12 weeks of work and used up all my short-term disability leave to have a mole removed.  A late-stage melanoma diagnosis is a life-changing event.  The treatment is painful and scary.

Within a month after accidentally finding my melanoma on my scalp over my left ear, I had two major surgeries.  There’s a wound at the primary site on my scalp that took a skin graft nearly 3-inches in diameter to close.  The surgeon also took out almost 50 lymph nodes from my neck and left me with a 7-inch scar that starts just above my clavicle and curves up and around behind my left ear.  There’s also a 5-inch scar on my torso where they took the skin graft.  I have permanent nerve damage in my face, neck, chest and shoulder.

After my surgeries I started 12-months of Interferon treatment, which causes physical exhaustion, mental depression and cognitive impairment.  The first month was at a chemo center.  Then I had to learn to give myself shots 3 times a week… for 11 months.  Hemorrhages from the Interferon almost caused me to loose my eyesight.  Luckily my ophthalmologist caught it in time and saved my vision.

At the end of my treatment a scan showed a lesion in my throat.  I had day-surgery so the surgeon could stick a scope down there to grab a sample to biopsy.  It was negative.  The year after that, there was a mole on my back that started looking strange.  Another negative biopsy.  This last October there was another “atypical” mole on my scalp.  Another day-surgery and a third negative biopsy.

As I said, the threat has not passed.  I’m still a patient.

Once melanoma gets into your bloodstream it can recur anywhere, striking vital organs including your brain.  I live with this every day, wondering if today is the day a few melanoma cells somewhere in my body will start attacking without my even knowing it.  I can’t give blood.  I can’t be an organ donor.

I urge you to support this bill to ban minors from using indoor tanning devices.  Help spare other families in our state the pain my family has suffered.  Save some lives.

Thank you.


(c) copyright 2012, Lulubelle B 

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Dolla Back Boy

a Davey’s Family story

500 words inspired by the Weekend Wordsmith prompt “a dollar bill that’s been written on


“You got a letter today,” Ma said to Davey.  She nodded at an envelope tucked into the napkin holder on the kitchen table where Davey sat eating his after-school snack.  Ma leaned against the counter, smoking.  She flicked cigarette ash into the yellow plastic ashtray in her hand.  Davey coughed and fanned away the smoke.  Ma took a drag and turned her head to exhale toward the small window over the sink.  Ruffled curtains fluttered in the spring breeze.

“Do you think there’s another dollar in it?” Davey said.  He wiped his hands on his dungarees and held the envelope overhead, trying to discern its contents.  “I can’t tell.”

“The return address says Possum Kingdom,” said Ma, “in Texas.”

“I don’t know anybody in Texas,” said Davey.

“Why don’t you open it and find out?” said Ma.

Davey’s fourth grade class had been working on The Hometown Dollar Project all year.  It started when Davey and most of his classmates got the same chain letter in the mail promising good luck and world travel if you wrote the name of your hometown on a dollar bill and sent it to the first person listed at the bottom of the letter.  The letter said to take the first person’s name and address off the list, add yours to the bottom and send the letter to ten of your friends within five days.  When your name reached the top of the list the dollars you got back would map your future travels.

Davey’s teacher told the class that each student who got a Hometown Dollar back should write a report about the dollar’s hometown, read it to the class and then choose a brightly colored thumbtack to mark the location on the big map of the United States on the classroom bulletin board.  Davey had already placed green thumbtacks at Cheektowaga in upstate New York and Fort Lauderdale in Florida.

Davey skimmed through the letter.

“Ma,” he said, “it’s from a kid like me.  His name is Joe and he’s a cowboy.  A real cowboy!”

“Not everyone in Texas is a cowboy,” said Ma.

“He lives on a ranch,” said Davey.  “He helps his dad in the barn and rides his horse everyday.  See, he sent a picture.”  Davey handed Ma a photo of boy sitting on a spotted horse.  The boy’s straw cowboy hat was pushed back to reveal his smiling face.

“Joe says he wants to be pen pals and wants to know what it’s like to live on Long Island and if I ever get to swim in the ocean.  And there’s a dollar, too.  He wrote Possum Kingdom Texas on the back just like we’re supposed to.”

Ma looked over Davey’s shoulder at the letter with its neat, childlike handwriting.

“I don’t see any harm,” she said, “but we’d better check with your Pop when he gets home, just to be sure.  Now you need to get over to the library and write your report about Joe's hometown.”


Copyright © 2012, Lulubelle B

Saturday, April 28, 2012

Mr. C and the Big D

a Lulu & Friends story

500 words inspired by the Weekend Wordsmith prompt “from here to there


“Get your purse. We’re going for a walk.”

Lulu looked up and saw her boss, Mr. C, standing in her office doorway.

“Get your purse,” Mr. C said. He turned and walked away.

Lulu pulled her purse from the bottom drawer of the desk and rushed to catch up.  Her pumps and the sloping corridors were a bad combination.  Company lore said the building on West End Avenue was originally an auto dealership, with ramps to drive the cars from floor to floor.  A later owner remodeled the interior as offices, but kept the ramps, using them as hallways.

Mr. C waited at the elevator.

“What’s happening?” said Lulu.

“Not here,” Mr. C said. “Outside.”

I’m getting fired, Lulu thought. I didn’t last a year with this lunatic.  He swears at everyone, stalks out of meetings, thinks we’re all idiots.

They rode to the lobby in silence. Mr. C stopped in the vestibule to light his pipe.

“Where are we going?” said Lulu.

“The Italian place,” said Mr. C, turning uptown.

I knew his reputation.  I  let myself be drawn in by the family photos in his office and the stories about his Cairn terrier named Muffin.  Now he’s firing me.

Mr. C held a chair for Lulu at a table in the empty restaurant.  The maitre d approached.

“Double scotch,” said Mr. C. “Order a drink.”

“It’s three o’clock,” she said.

“You need a drink,” he said.

“White wine, please,” said Lulu.

Somebody’s dead.  My family called him, and now he’s telling me.  Don’t cry.

“I need you to move to Dallas,” said Mr. C.

“But I live in New York,” said Lulu.  “I’ve always lived in New York.”

“Your job is moving to Dallas, whether you move with it or not,” said Mr. C.  “Everything’s moving eventually.”

How can I tell Mom?  She’ll freak out.  And what about my friends?  I don’t know anyone in Dallas.

“So you’re moving to Dallas, too?” said Lulu.  “Your wife is leaving your kids and grandkids?”

“Sales and the executives are staying here.  I’m staying here with my secretary and an analyst.  I need you to re-staff and run the department in Dallas.

I’m not ready to look for another job.  I’m not finished learning from you.  You’re the first boss who’s taught me more than how to move papers across my desk.

“How long do I have to decide?” said Lulu.

I hate hot weather.  I haven’t driven a car in years.  I’ll have to buy a car. I don’t know enough to buy a car.  I don’t want to move to Dallas.  I don’t want to move.  I don’t want to leave New York.

“We have to know before tomorrow’s staff meeting if the managers are on board.  We’re telling everyone else at 8:30.  You can’t tell anyone.  You have to look surprised like everyone else.”

“I can’t tell anyone?” said Lulu.

“You can tell your family,” said Mr. C.  “Don’t go back to the office.  Go home and decide.”


Copyright © 2012, Lulubelle B

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Pizza Delivery

a Lulu & Friends story

500 words inspired by the Weekend Wordsmith prompt "pizza delivery"


“Hi Benni. It’s me,” said Lulu as she locked the apartment door behind her, kicked off her shoes, dropped her keys into the bowl on the bookcase and let her totebag fall to the floor. “I couldn’t get a seat on the bus tonight and I’ve got too much stuff in my bag. My back is killing me.

“I just saw Bobby the pizza guy in the hall. Please tell me you ordered a pie so I don’t have to cook or order in. I’m too tired to think about it.

“Nope,” said Benni as she tightened the belt on what Lulu recognized as her apr├Ęs-tryst kimono. “Bobby rang the bell about an hour ago with a pizza and a box of pastries. Where’s he from? Ray’s? Original Ray’s? Famous Ray’s? Famous Original Ray’s? I can never keep them straight. He said it was all paid for, but I didn’t order anything. I guess it was the wrong address. So, lucky for us – free dinner again, roomie.”

“Again?” said Lulu.

“Yeah. Happened last Thursday, too, when you were out with Lily. But no dessert last time,” said Benni. “And maybe the week before that, now that I think about it. You’d think all those delivery places could get the addresses right.”

“So Bobby shows up on Thursdays, the only day you don’t work late, with pizza that nobody ordered, and stays for an hour?” said Lulu.

“Well somebody must’ve ordered it. And who said anything about Bobby staying?” said Benni.

“Right,” said Lulu. “You usually lounge around the apartment after work in that skinny-mini robe with nothing under it and your hair all messed up.

“I was napping”, said Benni as she took a scrunchie from the kimono’s pocket and pulled her hair back into a ponytail.

“Smells like the magic pizza-enhancing herb might’ve had a role in that,” said Lulu as she sniffed the air. “It’s the same every week. Rarely has the Thursday night passed and nothing happened around here.”

“You’re imagining things,” said Benni.

“Hey, you can do what you want. I’m not judging. Just saying that pizza and weed with Bobby three Thursdays in a row is a thing. I think you’ve got a suitor,” said Lulu.

“You mean like when guys send you drinks in a club?” said Benni.

“I mean like when the pizza guy brings you free pizza,” said Lulu. “Bobby and Benni sitting in a tree k-i-s-s-i-n-g.”

“Well, he is kinda cute. And he smells good,” said Benni. “Homey. Like fresh baked bread.”

“And he delivers,” said Lulu.

“Do you think I could ask him to bring something else next time,” said Benni, “even if we’re not paying?”

“Like what?” said Lulu. “A twelve-inch sausage hero?”

“My favorite’s rigatoni with meatballs,” said Benni. “But maybe he’d want stuffed shells, with all that creamy ricotta. Mmm…

“Anyway, there’s some pizza left if you want some, and those Italian wedding cookies. Bobby mainly nibbled on the cream puffs and I ate the big cannoli.”


copyright (c) 2012 Lulubelle B

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Breasticular Enhancification

a Lulu & Friends story

500 words inspired by a photo selected by Dive.


 “Lu, can I ask you something?” said Benni as she and Lulu walked home from the Food Emporium to the one-bedroom apartment they shared just north of 72nd street.  “Do you think it would be ok if I asked my dad to help pay for a breast enhancement?”

Damn it!  Lulu knew she should’ve hung back when she saw Benni on the check-out line, maybe hiding out in the dairy section until Benni’d left the store.  But no, she had to be a schmuckette and call out to her roommate, so now it looked like they where heading for the Benni Zone, a warped and confusing region where logic was suspended and common sense took a holiday.

“I didn’t know you wanted a boob job” said Lulu.  “You’re so petite and all in proportion.”

“Petite just means small.  When I lie on my back everything just disappears.  Look, I’ll show you” said Benni, putting down her grocery bags.

“What are you doing?” said Lulu.  “You can’t lie down in the parking lot.  Get up!”

“See?” said Benni from the pavement, running her hands down her chest.  “Nothing.  I can see straight down to my feet.  Nothing gets in the way at all.  Flat as a board.”

“Benni, get up!  People are gonna think something’s wrong with you” said Lulu.

“Well,” said Benni, getting to her feet and smoothing her hair and clothing, “I think it might help me in the social department, if you know what I mean.”

“I hadn’t noticed you were having problems there” said Lulu.

“I’m meeting lots of guys, but nothing goes beyond a date or two, so I thought if I got myself a nice set of tatas for them to play with they might stick around a little longer” said Benni.

“And you want to ask your dad to pay for them?” said Lulu.  “He goes to shul every morning and keeps Shabbos.  I can’t believe you’re even considering this.”

“My parents want grandchildren, so in a way this is an opportunity for them to help move things along” said Benni.  “Besides, Lily’s sister asked her parents for a boob job when she graduated from high school, so she could have them for college while she was young enough to enjoy them.  I’m already twenty-five, my chance is almost over.”

“Lily’s parents said no, but that’s besides the point” said Lulu.  “And regardless of who pays, the recovery can be really hard.  Are you planning to move back in with your parents until you can go back to work?”

“I thought you’d take care of me” said Benni.

“I don’t think so” said Lulu.

“But you’re my roommate, we’re supposed to be like sisters,” said Benni.  “You said said you wouldn’t help me if my diaphragm got stuck and now you won’t help me get boobies so I can get married and have kids.  There’s something very wrong with you Lulu,”

Lulu sighed and turned towards home.  It was gonna be a long night.


copyright (c) 2011 Lulubelle B

Thursday, March 24, 2011

This One's For Dive

a Lulubelle's Sexytime Romance

Not quite 500 words based on a photo selected by Dive.  It's not 500 words, but I think it does the trick.

Warning – this story is much more “adult” than my usual entries. If you are easily offended please avert your eyes and move on to the next blog. Seriously – this story's got some of that romance novel naughtiness that we've seen before... and it starts with a bang.


Straddling him, she gasped and rocked faster, pressing her nether lips hard against him as he moved rhythmically inside her in the ancient, horizontal dance of love. Her deep, resonant groan, the vibrations traveling the length of her spine to the echo chamber between her legs , brought him closer to the precipice.

She sighed a long, shuddering sigh, her head thrown back, her waist-length auburn curls tickling his naked thighs, breasts straining skyward against her tee-shirt, the firm, fleshy grand tetons that first caught his attention all those years ago in the campus pub as she danced with her roommates, Skynyrd blasting from the speakers and the crowd of raucous freshman, giddy with their first taste of freedom, parted for an instant to let his eyes ravish her in all her 18-year-old glory.

She sighed again, her girl-tunnel clasping the full length of his throbbing love train over and over in secret embrace in the side parking lot around the corner from the Piggly Wiggly. As her love spasms peaked he moaned and grasped her hips, pulling her closer as he thrust upwards with all the strength he and the little blue pill could muster.

Spent, he lay back, eyes closed, legs splayed, a quivering jellyfish of a man. She leaned forward, affectionately pinching one of his nubbins with one hand as she took her purse from under his head with the other, then rising gracefully and smoothing her skirt. She paused to look down at his not-too-hairy legs, white socks and brown shoes, then dropped his crumpled khaki shorts over his flaccid man-parts as she turned to slip into the black SUV in the next parking space.

“See you at home, babe, after you finish your errands,” she said. “And don’t forget to pick up the dry cleaning.”


copyright (c) 2011 Lulubelle B

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Little Apple

a Lulu & Friends story

500 words based on a sentence selected by Dive.

This week’s sentence is from L. Frank Baum’s The Wonderful Wizard of Oz:  "Not a tree nor a house broke the broad sweep of flat country that reached to the edge of the sky in all directions."


Sixteen-year-old Lulu stared out the bus window at the endless sea of agricultural sameness, wave after wave of uniform vegetation bobbing in unison in the early July breeze.  Not a tree nor a house broke the broad sweep of flat country that reached to the edge of the sky in all directions.  She’d passed the morning dozing with her head against the window, sweatshirt unzipped and spread over her like a blanket to ward off the air conditioner’s chill.  She’d wakened a few times, saw wheat or corn or prairie grass, then closed her eyes and dropped back into the light sleep that helped fill the time between stops on the six-week cross-country teen tour.  Kansas was boring.  Better to sleep through it and then stay up partying all night at the next campground.

Lulu needed to get away from home this summer.  Puberty had not been kind to Lulu or her family.  She fought with her mother and ignored her father except when she wanted him to buy something for her.  She had no use for her younger brother.  Most family conversations ended with Lulu screaming, stomping upstairs and slamming her bedroom door so hard that it bounced.  The final decision was made after her mother said that if she and Lulu didn’t get a break from each other by the end of the summer one of them would be dead and the other in jail.

So now Lulu found herself on one of two Blue Bird buses with eighty-five other teenagers and their college-age counselors, traveling round-trip across the US, camping each night and taking in the local sights and the national parks.  They spent last night in the other Manhattan, Manhattan Kansas, listening to school bands, small town politicians and local talent show winners salute the United States’ 200th birthday.  To the spoiled adolescents from New York, Boston and Philly it was amateur hour and they mocked the proceedings.  Even the big fireworks finale left them underwhelmed.

They sorted themselves onto their buses and headed back to camp, where the counselors built a fire and laid out snacks from the supply truck.  Some of the guys slipped away to the other campsites looking for weed or beer.  Lulu and the girls from her bus sat around the fire and gossiped about the couples that had already formed and whispered about the unclaimed boys, who were in short supply.  Nothing much would happen until the guys got back from their forage mission, then someone would break out a guitar or radio and the party would begin.  The counselors turned a blind eye as long as the volume stayed low and the neighboring campers didn’t complain.

This morning they’d all gotten up at 5 to watch the sunrise, have breakfast and break camp.  They’d see the Rockies poking up over the horizon in a few days, but in the meantime Lulu watched the corn and the wheat roll by and wondered when they were going to stop for lunch.


copyright (c) 2010 Lulubelle B

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Dead Fish Swimming

a Davey's Family story

500 words based on a sentence selected by Dive.  Click here for more info.

This week’s sentence is from Willa Cather's Death Comes For The Archbishop:  'Muerto,' he whispered.


Davey trailed his family as they walked back to the car across the beach parking lot.  Davey stopped frequently to check on the black goldfish circling in the plastic bag clutched in his hand.  All of Davey’s previous fish had been orange – Coke and Pepsi, Seven and Seven, Jack and Bobby.  This was his first singleton and he was determined to keep it alive for more than the usual week or two.

When they’d arrived at Bayville this morning Pop set up the beach umbrella for Ma, who needed shade for her pale, freckled skin.

“Redheads burn easily,” Ma said, sitting upright in a chair, wearing big sunglasses and a wide-brimmed hat, her book resting atop the cooler that held lunch and drinks and the two bags of ice that Pop had bought at the corner gas station at the start of their short drive to the North Shore.

Pop and Juicy watched the sun for a few minutes before setting their lounge chairs at the perfect angle to maximize rays and minimize the need to move as the sun tracked across the sky.  They took off their shirts and plopped down for a good long bake.  Even though it was early in the season, each was well on the way to the deep walnut tan they maintained through the summer.

Davey carefully spread his beach towel upwind of the grownups to avoid the inevitable cloud of smoke.  Sure enough, as soon as everyone settled in Ma reached for her pack of Newports, Pop for his Luckies and Juicy fired up the cigar stump that hadn’t left his mouth all morning.

Davey walked the waterline, collecting shells and stones for his collection, but only after he suffered Ma to slather him in suntan lotion.  Pop and Juicy swam in the Sound, racing each other from one lifeguard stand to the next.  They all returned for lunch as Ma handed out salami sandwiches on rye with mustard, potato chips and fruit.  There was beer for Ma and Juicy and Coke for Davey and Pop.  After lunch the adults dozed while Davey read a few chapters in his library book.

On the way back to the car, Juicy suggested they stop at the arcade and play a few midway games.  Davey looked longingly at the goldfish toss where a single black fish swam amongst the endless globes of orange.

‘You like that fella?” Juicy asked. Davey nodded.  “I’ll win him for ya.”

Now Juicy fell back to walk with Davey.

“Got a name for that handsome fish?” Juicy asked.  “He’s a special fish, so he needs a special name.”

“They die so quick,” said Davey.

“Maybe not, if he has a powerful name,” said Juicy.

Ma looked over her shoulder and motioned for Davey to hurry up.

Juicy bent to whisper in Davey’s ear.  “Know what that means?”

Davey shook his head.

Juicy bent and spoke again behind his hand.

Davey raised the fish to eye level.

“Muerto,” he whispered, smiling widely.


copyright (c) 2010 Lulubelle B

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Cooking with Benni

a Lulu & Friends story

500 words based on sentence selected by Dive.  Click here for more info.

This week's sentence is from E.M. Forster's A Room With A View:  It tasted partly of the paper in which it was wrapped, partly of hair oil, partly of the great unknown.

The stench smacked Lulu in the face before she stepped fully into the apartment.  Her roommate sat at the dining table in the alcove off the living room holding a spatula in one hand, hair disheveled, makeup smeared, a plateful of something that looked like crumpled up paper in front of her.

“What’s that smell?” Lulu asked, clamping a hand over her nose and mouth.

Benni waved the spatula towards the kitchen. “I cooked,” she said.

“Cooked what?”

“My parents are coming for brunch this Sunday,” said Benni, “and they’ve been raving about this English pub that opened in their neighborhood, so I thought I’d make fish and chips.  I’m practicing.”

Benni’s kitchen disasters were legendary.  Lulu’s work friends loved to hear Benni stories.  There was the grease fire from reheating fried chicken in the oven on a piece of tin foil without turning up an edge.  Benni tried to extinguish the flames with a glass of water and was lucky to escape with eyebrows and bangs intact.  There was the Thanksgiving green bean casserole extravaganza, when she spent an hour individually hand washing and drying five pounds of beans for a side dish to serve eight people.

And now there was this, whatever this was.  It reeked of more than fried fish.  It was more like putrid scorched flowers with onions, grease and god-knows-what.

“What recipe were you using?” Lulu asked, almost afraid to hear the answer.

“I just winged it.  Fish and potatoes, right?  The bodega on the corner didn’t have any fish but they had fish sticks and they’re practically the same thing,” said Benni.  “And my feet hurt from my new shoes and standing on the bus all the way home and I couldn’t walk to the fruit and veggie guy so I picked up some tater tots, but they only had the onion flavor, but I thought that’s more interesting than plain French fries.

“When I got home we were out of canola oil, but I found this old bottle of oil from my grandpa’s apartment.  It’s imported I think.  Macassar oil.  It smelled like it had exotic spices in it.  But I’m not good at frying and the first batch just kind of sizzled and never got crispy, so I turned up the heat and the next batch spattered and burned.  And we didn’t have any newspaper to wrap it in like they do and I wanted it to be authentic so I ripped some pages out of Cosmo, but I think maybe they were too close to the perfume samples, and some of the ink ran but maybe it’s ok.

“Anyway since you cook all the time, can you taste it and tell me what you think?”  Benni pushed the plate toward Lulu.

Lulu knew it tasted partly of the paper in which it was wrapped, partly of hair oil, partly of the great unknown.  No way was she going anywhere near this mess.  Her office pals were gonna love this story tomorrow.


copyright (c) 2010 Lulubelle B

Sunday, March 7, 2010


Jarvis & Smith ~ Chapter 7

500 words based on a sentence selected by Dive.

This week’s sentence is from Wilkie Collins’ The Moonstone:  The Thursday night passed, and nothing happened.

“Dad!  Wake up.  Mom says dinner’s almost ready.”

Jarvis opened one eye and found himself lying on a sofa, television blaring, adolescent boy glowering.  The boy seemed familiar, but many years younger than Jarvis expected, a couple of decades at least.  And something about this room was odd.  His vision was blurred, his mouth dry.

“What day is it?” Jarvis croaked, not fully awake.  He hoped it wasn’t a Thursday.  Bad things happened to him on Thursdays.  It had been weeks since the Thursday night passed and nothing happened.

“It’s Thursday.  You had your test this morning, remember?” said Timmy.  “Jeez, Dad.  Get a grip.”

“We’ll be eating soon.  You must be starving,” said Roz, leaving the table she’d been setting.  Something was off with her as well.  She seemed dowdy, ordinary.  Where was the smoldering femme fatale who’d ravished him so thoroughly?

“Roz?,” asked Jarvis, slowly sitting up, one hand clutching the television’s remote, the other rubbing his face and hair.  “What’s going on?  You were up on the ship with Timmy and Doctor Richmond and me.  No, Timmy was Doctor Richmond and I was so cold, and there was a beaver and robots and space aliens and Mulder!  I talked to Mulder…”

“Ok, Greg.  No more X-Files marathon for you today,” said Roz as she took the remote from him and turned off the TV.  “You’re still groggy from the sedative and not eating anything solid the last few days.”

Jarvis shook a cigarette from the pack on the coffee table and lit it with the Godzilla table lighter standing sentry next to the ashtray.

“He’s such a dork,” said Timmy.  “And does he have to smoke in the house?  It’s frackin’ gross!”

“Timmy, go easy on your dad,” said Roz, “and watch your language.  Everyone’s upset by their first colonoscopy.  Let’s hope by the time you’re old enough for one there won’t be any need for cancer screenings.”

“Or at least they won’t have to go up your butt with a camera.”

“Enough!” said Roz.  “Timmy, finish setting the table for me.  Greg, go wash up.”

Jarvis heaved himself to his feet, rubbed his eyes like a little kid and wobbled from the room, steadying himself on the furniture as he passed.

“What’s that music?” he asked, pausing, hand on the wall, nodding towards the kitchen where a radio played to the empty room.  “I can’t get it out of my head.”

“The station’s doing a psychedelic flashback thing this week.” Roz said.  “Whenever they play the end of White Rabbit you’re supposed to call in to win a prize.  I can change the station if you don’t like it.”

“No, it’s fine,” said Jarvis, turning back toward the bathroom.  “Dinner smells good. I’ll be back in a minute.”

Behind him, Roz and Timmy exchanged a glance, a spark jumping from Timmy’s hand to hers as she passed him the silverware for the table.  Their eyes glowed red as they nodded to each other in silent affirmation.


copyright (c) 2010 Lulubelle B

Saturday, February 27, 2010

This Little Piggy

Jarvis & Smith ~ Chapter 6

500 words based on a sentence selected by Dive.   Click here for more info.

This week's sentence is from Boris Pasternak's Doctor Zhivago:  The hotel staff were being driven frantic; the incident in No.23 was only one more nuisance added to their daily vexations.


The hotel staff were being driven frantic; the incident in No. 23 was only one more nuisance added to their daily vexations.  It was not every day that one of the guest suites disengaged from the building and jumped to rejoin the mother ship hiding behind the moon.  The Commander must have had her reasons and they would have to deal with the local authorities and the specialists who would undoubtedly be brought in from Bureau headquarters in Washington.

Jarvis, lying on the bed in Suite 23, was being driven frantic as well, being fully consumed by the expert ministrations of the intoxicating Miss Smith.  He’d arrived at the hotel in response to a scribbled note to find her dressed only in heels, silk stockings and a lovely blue sash, which seemed oddly familiar somehow.  She stripped him, learing at him hungrily, her dimples lending an incongruous air of innocence, and teased him, dancing with an intricately carved ivory fan.  Then she’d taken a more direct approach.  As he reached the outer limits of control he and the bed began to quake, which he attributed to Miss Smith’s considerable skills.  Just as he reached the point of no return, she began to hum a haunting and familiar tune.  Jarvis lost focus and then lost consciousness.


“Tell me again why we have to wear these ridiculous getups?” asked Richmond, fastening the off-center buttons on his white smock, carefully keeping the stethoscope draped around his neck.

“Just go with it,” said Miss Smith, her eyes briefly glowing red as she adjusted her starched white pinafore and matching nurse’s cap, “It adds to the ambience.  Besides he’ll expect an element of camp.”

Richmond sighed and rolled his eyes.  The things he did to humor the Commander these days.  Once this mission was over he’d ask to be reassigned.  She’d lost all sense of decorum and gravitas.

Jarvis opened one eye and found himself lying naked, prone and spread-eagled on a cold metal table, arms and legs restrained.  He lifted his head, blinked both eyes, trying to bring the room into focus.  From what he could see, he seemed to be in a laboratory of some sort.

“Hello Gregory,” said Miss Smith, dimples flashing.  “I believe you’ve met Mr. Richmond.”

“I don’t understand.” Jarvis said.

“We’re collecting samples and checking on the health of humans of a certain age,” Miss Smith answered.  “And you’re just what we’re looking for.”

“And now,” said Richmond, “We need to run one last test.”

As Richmond reached for the metal probe suspended from the ceiling on a gimbaled arm a flash of electricity arced between his hand and the instrument.  He pulled on a pair of heavy black rubber gloves.

“This,” he said, patting the gleaming machine with a gloved hand, “We call this the Hog in Armour.  Its snout routs around just about anywhere.  Miss Smith, how about a soothing song for our friend Gregory?”

Miss Smith began to hum that blasted song again.  Jarvis’ world went black.

copyright (c) 2010 Lulubelle B

Saturday, February 20, 2010


Jarvis & Smith ~ Chapter 5

500 words based on a sentence selected by Dive. Click here for more info.

This week's sentence is from Ken Kesey’s One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest: "Out along the dim six-o'clock street, I saw leafless trees standing, striking the sidewalk there like wooden lightning, concrete split apart where they hit, all in a fenced-in ring."


“Hi. I’m Jarv… I’m sorry, I’m Greg and I think I may be an alcoholic.  This is my first meeting,” said Jarvis.

“Hi Greg,” the others chorused.

“I’ve always been a drinker and never had any real problems.  You know, a few beers with the guys, some wine with the ladies, a couple of drinks after work.  Once in a while, maybe a hangover in the morning.

“But lately I’ve been having these blackouts.  The first time was a few weeks ago after meeting with a client in my office.  I woke up the next morning with a huge hangover and no idea what happened.  I don’t even remember having a drink, just this really bizarre dream.

“But it keeps happening every few days and I really don’t think I’ve been drinking.  That’s the sign, right? Blackouts, loosing hours and hours at a time?  I wake up walking in different parts of the city.  No real hangover, just skewed perceptions, like my brain isn’t working right, like I’m not really sure what I’m seeing and can only relate it to other images I sort of half remember.

Behind Jarvis, Richmond quietly entered the hall and sat in the last row.

“Out along the dim six-o'clock street, I saw leafless trees standing, striking the sidewalk there like wooden lightning, concrete split apart where they hit, all in a fenced-in ring.

“In the noontime glare of Times Square I saw a mosaic of vehicles, trucks, cabs, cars, all interlocking like Legos, forming a pattern I was meant to decipher but just couldn’t, no matter how hard I tried.

“In the eight am rush I saw crowds of workers standing frozen at intersections, like those Chinese terracotta warriors, waiting for the general’s command to attack, but here they were just waiting for the walk signal to cross the street.  When the light changed, they charged down the block and then froze again at the next cross-street, again waiting for the light change to animate them and restore them to motion.

“Today I found myself a block from here, standing on the sidewalk holding a flyer from a pub in England, the Hog in Armour.  ‘Located in Saint Gregory’s Back Alley’ it says.  I’ve never been to England.  I don’t know what it means.

“They say the first step is admitting you have a problem, so I’m here.  I need help.  Thanks.”

“Would anyone else like to share?” the leader asked.

As the meeting ended, Jarvis debated lingering for coffee with the others at the back of the hall.  Since the group was supposed to be anonymous, he hesitated to strike up a conversation.

Richmond approached him, small smile on his face, hand offered in greeting.

“I’m Timothy,” said Richmond.  “I heard you’re a first-timer.  I can be your temporary sponsor if you like, until you find someone permanent.”

“Jarv… um, Greg” said Jarvis, taking the other’s hand, then snatching his back as he was zapped by a small shock.

“Sorry,” said Richmond.  “Static electricity.”

copyright(c) 2010, Lulubelle B

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Probing Questions

Jarvis & Smith ~ Chapter 4

500 words based on a sentence selected by Dive.   Click here for more info.

This week's sentence is from Louisa May Alcott's Little Women:  "A pair of silk stockings, that pretty carved fan, and a lovely blue sash."

Miss Smith waited in a booth at the back of the diner, gazing out the window and idly playing with the carved ivory fan she’d picked up at a second-hand store, its pierced floral pattern really quite attractive.  She was, as always, impeccably dressed in a tailored suit and blouse, makeup and hair fresh and immaculate.   An untouched cup of black coffee cooled at her elbow.  She checked the time on the neon clock over the swinging door to the kitchen.  He was late, as usual.  He’d say it was due to an abundance of caution.  She knew it was just sloppiness.

“Miss Smith,” he greeted her, standing tableside.  Damn, he smelled good.

“Mr. Richmond,” she sighed as he slid onto the facing seat.  Their irises briefly glowed red in recognition as they made eye contact.

“Been shopping?” he asked, noticing the fan.  He reached for the menu resting at the edge of the table, but did not open it.

“Supplies,” she said, picking up the fan and putting it into her tote bag.  “A pair of silk stockings, that pretty fan, and a lovely blue sash.”  She drew the cup of coffee toward her.

A waiter approached to top off her coffee and take their order.  Miss Smith waved him away.

“How was your evening?” Mr. Richmond asked, trying to sound casual.

“More pleasant than I’d anticipated,” Miss Smith said, a small smile playing across her face, revealing the slightest hint of her dimples.  “Jarvis is fully prepped. I set him up with two triggers.  Either the song or the catch phase will induce a trance, making him fully receptive to our instructions.  And I planted a visual in his subconscious and in his office just to keep him off-balance.”

Mr. Richmond nodded approvingly.  “So he’s a likely subject?”

“Seems to be.  He’s clever, intuitive and highly resilient.  The tests will tell us more,” Miss Smith replied, reaching into her bag and passing Mr. Richmond a small padded envelope.  “And he’s got some special skills I particularly enjoyed.”

Mr. Richmond ignored her last comment, knowing she was just trying to bait him.  Their history was personal. This was business.

“Samples?” he asked as the small package disappeared inside his jacket.

“Hair and skin.  Saliva.  Seminal fluid.  All there.”

“And the other?” Mr. Richmond continued.

“Not on a first date, Timothy.”  Miss Smith batted her eyes coquettishly.  “What sort of girl do you think I am?”

“Really Roz?” said Mr. Richmond, raising an eyebrow.  A small spark flashed between their hands, resting millimeters apart on the faded formica.  “Technically, you’re not any sort of girl at all.”

“There’ll be other opportunities,” she said.  “We’ll take him aboard the ship.  He’ll be expecting the full experience.  The strobing lights, the cold metal table, the biting restraints, the looming, menacing probe.”  She smiled broadly.

“Why wait?  You had full access last night,” he insisted.  “You just had to flip him over.”

“That would've been unprofessional,” said Rosamond, dimpling.  She beckoned the waiter.


copyright (c) 2010 Lulubelle B

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Feed Your Head

Jarvis & Smith ~ Chapter 3

500 words based on a sentence selected by Dive.  Click here for more info.

This week's sentence is from William Burroughs' Cities Of The Red Night
"He was passing a huge marble snail, a bronze frog and a beaver."


Jarvis opened one eye and found himself lying in a puddle of drool on a conveyer belt tracking slowly through what looked like a large gallery.  He was passing a huge marble snail, a bronze frog and a beaver, a fox and a dormouse.

He tried to raise a hand to rub his itchy nose but his arms were tangled in his shirt, which wound through his bare legs and wrapped behind his back.  Jarvis lacked the coordination and the will to extricate himself.  It was easier to just lie still, attempting to remember the name of the song he thought he heard playing quietly, just below the threshold to make out the words.  He knew it, but the key and the meter were off. Still it was maddeningly familiar.  Something from his youth perhaps?  He felt it more than heard it as it wove snatches of melody and lyric into his brain.

Wait – did the beaver move?  Jarvis thought he saw it blink.  Nah, it’s dead, stuffed.  The music got louder, building towards a crescendo.  The beaver charged the conveyer, shattering the glass display case.  It clawed Jarvis’ chest and furiously humped his leg while the fox danced on its hind legs wearing a beauty queen’s satin sash and the dormouse chittered urgently, running frantically back and forth within the ruined diorama.

Jarvis awoke with a gasp, jerking upright on his office sofa, sunlight streaming through the half-opened Venetian blinds.  It was morning?  The last thing Jarvis remembered was happily boinking his client on the bed, on the floor, on a towel by the door…no, stop!  That was the Sarah Silverman video with Matt Damon.  Jarvis and Miss Smith had been going at it on the desk, and now he was alone and naked and sore and missing several hours.

What was in the spliff he’d been smoking when she walked in?  It certainly didn’t mix well with the gin he thought he remembered drinking.  And why the shooting pain at the base of his skull and the double vision?

He lay back down and tried to recapture his dream.  Some sculpture, some taxidermy and some music.  A woman’s voice, haunting and hypnotic.  And what about last night?  When did Miss Smith leave?  His memory was a kaleidoscope of erotic images, scents and tastes, but nothing made sense.

Jarvis squinted, trying to recall the last time the early morning sun had seared his retinas and thought about getting up to close the blinds and maybe start a pot of coffee.  His mouth tasted like a sewer, his tongue furred and dry.  This was more than his usual hangover.

Jarvis noticed a shimmering cloth half under the desk.  Looked like Miss Smith left him a souvenir.  He staggered to the desk, steadied himself against it and bent to retrieve her panties.  What the…???  Not Rosamond’s silky drawers, but the fox’s satin sash, “The Truth is Out There” scrawled across it.

Now if he could just remember what the dormouse said.


copyright (c) 2010 Lulubelle B

Saturday, January 30, 2010


Jarvis & Smith ~ Chapter 2

500 words based on a sentence selected by Dive.  Click here for more info.

This week's sentence is from George Eliot's Middlemarch:  'I suppose it would be unprofessional,' said Rosamond, dimpling.

In the lead-up to this week’s sentence Dive stressed a bodice-busting theme.  When I asked if the Romance Novel genre was required he said, “I certainly hope not, Lulu!  Go with whatever you feel: noir, comedy, space aliens, Godzilla, whatever.”

I know a challenge when I see one…

If you haven’t done so already, you might want to read last week’s story, Knowing, first, and then come back to read Knowledge.

Warning – this story is much more “adult” than my usual entries. If you are easily offended please avert your eyes and move on to the next blog.  Seriously – this story is humorously explicit in a Romance Novel kind of way.


A Comic Noir Romance with Space Aliens & Godzilla

Jarvis put the report aside.  He sat a long time smoking, he did not read any more.

He studied the woman sitting on the edge of his desk, knees all but touching his, as he settled comfortably in the high-backed leather chair.  She was hot, with wavy auburn hair cascading past her shoulders.  She slowly unbuttoned her blouse to reveal a lacy brassiere, her eyes locked on his, a lascivious smile on her moist, bee-stung lips, the hint of a dimple accenting each cheek.  She was cool, cool as the two-carat zircon ring she’d taken from her left hand and flung into the far corner of the office, a mix of hot and cool and anything but lukewarm.

She’d shown up without an appointment, just as she had the first time.  She undid the knot in his necktie, leaning in to graze his lips with the darting tip of her cherry-pink tongue.  Her boldness surprised him, but he liked it.  It sure beat drinking himself into a stupor – his usual activity this time of day.

The late afternoon sun and half-drawn Venetian blinds sliced zebra stripes across her face and upper body as she drew her skirt up her smooth inviting thighs.

“What do you have for me, mister professional investigator?” she asked, her dimples flashing as her smile grew.  He ground out his cigarette in the glass ashtray.

“Well, Miss Smith, I spoke to my buddy Mulder at the Bureau,” he said, tracing a finger along the swell of her womanly orb, flicking his thumb across the pebbled rosebud that strained against its filmy cage, “Says your mystery man Richmond is not at all what he appears. He’s an alien most likely.”

“Illegal?” she asked.

“Flying saucer. He said to give you this, Miss Smith”, he said, reaching into the desk drawer.  “Found it in Richmond’s apartment with your name on it.”

“My Godzilla lighter!  See how the flame shoots out its mouth?  How very professional of you not to keep it for yourself.”  She pulled him closer, sliding down to straddle him in the chair, pressing her hidden petals against his throbbing manhood.

“I have something else for you, Miss Smith.”

“And what would that be, mister professional investigator?”  she teased as he swirled his tongue into the shell-like recesses of her ear.

She threw her head back and tore open his shirt, buttons skittering across the floor as she raked his sculpted torso with her blood-red fingernails.  He buried his head in her heaving bosom as she writhed with burning passion.

She loosened his belt and trousers.  He lifted her onto the desk, standing over her as she lay back, barely containing himself as she locked her legs around his waist.

“Rosamond,” he groaned as his lust grew and grew.  He lowered himself towards her as she rose up to meet him, clasping each other in a fevered embrace.

“Don’t call me that Jarvis.  I’m still your client.  I suppose it would be unprofessional,' said Rosamond, dimpling.


copyright (c) 2010 Lulubelle B